06.19.08
Kiss of the Dryad
She grabbed his head with a passion
And a fire he could not resist
Their lips met, their aching breaths mingled
In this kiss the world ceased to exist.
Her fingers dug into his skull
Pushing his head closer still
While his arms were wrapped firmly around her
Their bodies pressed closer – his will.
Their kiss lasted minutes or seconds
In the haze, neither one could discern
But too soon it was ended, they parting,
Both hearts hating what they did learn.
Another version of this, as recommended by MysticWino. Tell me which you like better. As the author, it truly is hard to decide.
She grabs his head with a passion
And a fire he can not resist
Their lips meet, their aching breaths mingle
In this kiss the world does not exist.
Her fingers dig into his skull
Pushing his head closer still
While his arms wrap firmly around her
And their bodies press closer – his will.
Their kiss lasts for minutes or seconds
In the haze, neither one can discern
But too soon it is ended, they parting,
Both hearts hating what they did learn.
MysticWino said,
June 19, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Love the match of the picture to the poem.
Overall, I really like the poem for content and subject. Anything based on myth is likely to capture my attention . . . And, of course, Love and Romance are always near to my heart . . .
I kind of stumble on that last line. Not sure why. It seems like strained word order (syntax), but it also seems to imply that they felt otherwise about what the did NOT learn. (?)
I think you might also enjoy the effect of turning all the verbs to present tense. It’ll empower it and lend it a more eternal, etheric ambiance.
Thanks for sharing.
David
thesleepingtypewriter said,
June 19, 2008 at 4:21 pm
What I meant with the last line, as it doesn’t seem to be quite so obvious, was that they had to part, leave each other, separate, if you will. They could not stay together, so their hearts hated the fact that they found something so powerful, and yet could not stay together. Kind of a parting with regret, a wishing they had not kissed and found each other because now they have to go on with their lives without whatever it was which they found.
Does that make any sense?
MysticWino said,
June 20, 2008 at 10:45 am
Okay. Yeah. I getcha.
I like the latter version. (I’d change ‘ceased’ in line four to ‘ceases’).
I love the dual meaning you get with leaving cannot as two words. It implies both . . . he can not-resist, meaning that he can deliberately concede control . . . and he cannot resist, meaning he is unable to resist.
Don’t you just love playing with words?
Have a super, and poetic, weekend!
David
thesleepingtypewriter said,
June 20, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Yes, I would, but then it would leave the line all funky, with too many syllables and a weird utterance on the tongue. I’d have to put in a different word, and that would take too much thinking.
But thank you, and yes, playing with words is always the fun part in this game.
Clayton said,
June 26, 2008 at 8:17 am
Oh I’m in love with this poem… I could feel the romance and i was able to feel the emotions of it. and that picture is very fitting with that poem!
thesleepingtypewriter said,
June 26, 2008 at 11:01 am
Thank you! And just for that comment I had to read it all over again.
(it makes me smile)